


In any other life

by imsfire



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Feels, elevator kiss, missing makeout, multiverse idea, or possibly reincarnation, slightly odd mix of canon-compliant and AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9694490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsfire/pseuds/imsfire
Summary: “If it were any other life,” she says suddenly “I would find you.”He hauls in another breath and feels it fill with blood.  “Yes, I would find you, too.  If there is any other life, I will find you.  And I won’t let you go.”





	

“If it were any other life,” she says suddenly “I would find you.”

They are standing – barely, in Cassian’s case – in the elevator, looking at one another, hearts still pounding, minds strangely calm in the peace that comes after pain.  He can’t quite believe that he’s still alive after all that’s happened in the last hour; he made it to the top, he was able to help her and be there for her one last time.  And they did it.  They made it. 

The hum of the lift mechanism is surprisingly gentle.  Bands of light and shadow glance over Jyn’s face as she looks up at him.  The shadows soften the tension in her jaw, the light catches a shine at the corners of her eyes; gleam and gone, gleam and gone.  She is the most beautiful sight he’s ever seen.

Another life?  He isn’t sure for a moment what she means.  This is their life, their only one, surely.  They’ve lived it and in the end they’ve done something right and true with it, something that makes everything worthwhile, even death.  And then he thinks, no, because this life is almost over and if there is anything after, then –

“Yes,” he says.  Speaking, just breathing in enough to push the words out, is agony; his ribcage feels like a crumpled mess of wire, puncturing him through-and-through from within.  But Jyn is looking up at him and after her quiet faith on the platform a few minutes ago, the despair in her eyes now is more painful still.  He hauls in another breath and feels it fill with blood.  “Yes, I would find you, too.  If there is any other life, I will find you.  And I won’t let you go.”

Her hands are resting on his upper arms, as if at any moment she might embrace him, and he can feel her shaking. Her mouth quivers, caught between relief and heartbreak.  Another one of the bands of shadow is passing, and he leans forward in its hush, and kisses her on the lips.  It isn’t the kiss he’s wished for and dreamed of but still it is a kiss, a blessing and a sweetness in these moments between aftermath and the inevitable. 

Her mouth opens beneath his.  She tastes of life, of everything eager and young, and uncompleted.  She wraps her arms round him and he lets go of the stanchion he’s been clinging too, staggers, embraces her with all the waning strength left to him.  She is all the fire of life, found at last, in his arms at last, and it’s unbearable that this may be the end of it all, the end of the driving fire, the inspiring anger and hope that is Jyn.

If there is any hope for them it will be at the end of this quiet descent.  He’d like to fold her into himself as the shore is folded into the waves; he’d like to hold her and be held by her forever more.

If there is any other life beyond this…

**

In a world of fear and feudal power they are two chattels bound to different lords; they love at their eyes’ distance, and pray for a freedom that never comes.

In a world of raids and raiders they are two defenders on a rampart, meeting for the first and last time on the day death comes for them.

In a world of inequality she is a fighter for suffrage and he an escaped slave; he sees freedom’s face just once, the day he sees her; once and never again, their days swept a world apart though they both strive lifelong for the same cause.

In a world of colonial invaders she comes on the third ship to make landfall, and he hides in the forests and watches in awe, astonished at these strange newcomers with eyes the colour of the sea; they meet when words of peace are uttered, and when the peace is forgotten, she has turned from her own people to be with him, and they fight and die together.

In a world of vast oceans they are fisher-folk bound for sea, and through the winter’s wrath their friendship sustains them and grows stronger; in the long summer calm they seek one another out and know a few brief months of delight, before each must leave again to find their own final storm.

In war after war and struggle after struggle, across histories untold, they find one another.  Eyes meet a hundred times, a thousand more, and hopes take fire and hearts race towards one another.  It is never enough; and it is always more than they dare to hope for.

Sometimes, days as rare as diamonds, they meet in love, and there are kisses and embraces, and lovemaking, her pale limbs and his tanned ones entwined in long consummation; days and nights of joy, lives of quiet union, working together in peace, to bring the same peace into the world for others.  Sometimes there are lives still rarer, where there is no conflict at all, and the peace has already come. 

Sometimes there is just another end; another empty shore, another death on the horizon.  But they fall, dying, knowing there is still hope.  Knowing there was always love, through every life.

And they will always find one another again.

**

The elevator settles softly at ground level, and the doors slide open in silence.  Holding one another, they walk out, into the end of this life.

**Author's Note:**

> So it's been done before, but this is my riff on this particular theme. I saw a lot of tumblr posts with gifsets of our heroes gazing at one another and text about how they would find one another in another life; and this was the result.
> 
> You can find me as imsfire2 on tumblr...


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